I am fully aware that in the grand scheme of things I know diddly squat about all that God has done and is currently doing as a result of prayer. This I do know, He is doing stuff. For that I am so very grateful.

10. My mom’s grandmother lived with them. I never knew her but I am pretty sure I would have loved her. My mom told me once that my great grandmother would pray for them. I like to think that some of those prayers spilled over onto me. I believe my blessed life can be attributed in part to this woman of faith.

9. Every night before we went to bed my mom or my dad would pray with us. That same tradition we keep in our house too. One of my favorite prayers that I learned as a child comes from Numbers 6. As you read these words you can be assured that those prayers have taken affect in my life and the lives of my family.

 ²⁴ “The LORD bless you and keep you;

²⁵ The LORD make His face shine upon you,
And be gracious to you;

²⁶ The LORD lift up His countenance upon you,
And give you peace.”

8. From the time I was a small child I began to pray for my future spouse and my children. Listing things has always been a part of my nature. I took my list before the Lord of what I dreamed for my family. What a joy to know that the people who share my roof have been brought to me by my God.

7. Every teen likes to decorate their walls. My choice of posters were maps of the world. As I would walk by I would reach my hand out and run my fingers along the names, borders, oceans, dots and lines. I would pray for the nations. I would pray that I could go to the world. I prayed God would let me be a missionary.

6. When our little family wanted to go to mission school we had to make a move from St. Joseph, Missouri a couple States South to Tulsa, Oklahoma. We had the moving truck all packed and enough money to our name to pay for the gas to get down there. As we were rolling down the gate of the truck a friend from church came running up and handed my husband an envelope. He told DaRonn to wait to open it until we were in Tulsa. The money in the envelope was enough for our first two months of rent in our new city.

5. When we were in mission school our teachers encouraged us to write out our visions or goals. DaRonn and I wrote a five fold statement of what we hoped to do as missionaries. Since we had already spent extensive time talking about this very thing we were able to show them our list without hesitation: 1. Bible Schools, 2. Church, 3. Social aid, 4. Multi-media publications, 5. Missionary mobilization. God has graciously allowed us to step into each of these areas to some degree and see good results.

4. So many prayers regarding adjustment, culture and language learning, safety, wisdom, and provision were answered to confirm us as missionaries in those first few years. One instance of health comes to mind. An outbreak of Dengue fever hit our area. I got it. I have never felt closer to death in my whole life. I am grateful to have recovered from that plight.

3. A while after my final pregnancy came to a close with a c-section some complications presented themselves in my woman parts. I was so frustrated when the conclusion was made that I should have cysts surgically removed. The chance of malignancy scared me. God sent a dear friend (Livvy Lu) at just the right moment to help me not lose hope. He also provided the finances for the surgery through the donations of friends. No cancer!

2. Prayers saturated the adoption process for our youngest child. I thank God that the Bolivian paperwork is finalized and she has been in our home for just about a year and a half.

1. Many people have chosen to come alongside us in prayer over our family and ministry. I see those prayers answered every day. Testaments to this: DaRonn and I have a strong happy marriage, all our children have soft hearts for God, we are a healthy bunch, the ministry impacts more people than we can count, and the growth continues strong.

This I share not to boast in our own righteousness, which is but filthy rags, rather to give glory to God, the eternal Lord and gracious Father.

*** Next list: 10 Hopes for the Coming Years ***

A couple rules about election days here in Boliva:

• It is prohibited to organize an assembling of more than 10 people on election day.
• Use of motor vehicles is restricted to emergency aid only.
• Elections cannot be held on a work day.

Whereas elections used to occupy a space in the work week, for reasons of the economy they are now held on Sundays. It has been this way for a number of years now. In the past as a church we have worked around these obstacles in creative ways. Church the night before is one tactic. Opening the doors of the church for peopel to come and pray as they like; a sort of open house method. We have even done a night service after 7 pm when the restrictions are lifted.

The next elections are for mayors, or govenors, or something along those lines. The date had been set. Then it was moved up a few weeks earlier. They have scheduled the elections on Easter morning. It irks me.

I don’t yet know if the Catholic church is doing someting to have this changed. I don’t know that the association of Evangelical churches is doing something either. I do know we can pray. Would you pray with me that the date of the elections would be moved? There is still plenty of time for a change to take place. Would you pray that the church in Bolivia would move in wisdom and favor in this situation? Thank you for helping us out with your prayers.

The judge overseeing our adoption has been on vacation since the beginning of July. She comes back to work today. In honor of her return I have proclaimed today Judges Day. In my world every day will be judges day until the adoption is final. Observation of Judges Day is simple.

1. Pray for the judges in the land. (Guide following)
2. Express gratitude for their service when you are with a judge.

The next step in the adoption process is that the judge would assign us a child. Part of the assignment is that we would receive a court order allowing us to visit our daughter from now until the adoption is final. We have three court appearances. On the third she comes home with us. The three appearances span over a time period of roughly two months. Following are the prayer points if you want to join in:

• That the judge would be wise in her decisions and strong in the face of her work load.
• That she would look favorably towards our case in a timely fashion.
• That she would be able to think clearly and that all confusion is eliminated.
• That she would judge justly and not fall prey to unethical temptations.
• That she would be blessed for her honest service.

God wants us to pray for judges. Here are some interesting verses.

First, in the good old KJV (1 Timothy 2:1-2) I exhort therefore, that, first of all, supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks, be made for all men; For kings, and for all that are in authority; that we may lead a quiet and peaceable life in all godliness and honesty.

Now in the Message (1 Timothy 2:1-3) The first thing I want you to do is pray. Pray every way you know how, for everyone you know. Pray especially for rulers and their governments to rule well so we can be quietly about our business of living simply, in humble contemplation. This is the way our Savior God wants us to live.

(Matthew 7:7 KJV) Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you

(Matthew 7:7-11 MSG) Don’t bargain with God. Be direct. Ask for what you need. This isn’t a cat-and-mouse, hide-and-seek game we’re in. If your child asks for bread, do you trick him with sawdust? If he asks for fish, do you scare him with a live snake on his plate? As bad as you are, you wouldn’t think of such a thing. You’re at least decent to your own children. So don’t you think the God who conceived you in love will be even better?

Thanks for joining us in this journey.

Yesterday I was reminded of the power of prayer, and more specifically the power of hope. My heart said, “Yes,” and my mind said, “Why can you hope?”

Here is my answer to my mind.

Hope is a thing about the future. I don’t know the future. Based on outcomes of past circumstances similar to my present ones I can assume what may happen, but the fact remains that I do not know what will happen in the future.

Therefore, I can choose to dread or I can choose to hope.

Taking it one step at a time I can do what I know to do and in the meantime hope for the best.

Instead of focusing on the negative outcomes of the past I can remember the goodness, miracles and wonderful. That is why I can hope. I simply choose to have my heart set to the bearings of hope.

On a compass many facts exist. The West fact may be present, yet we mustn’t forget about the East fact. The existence of South does not eliminate the existence of North. Realizing this I choose to set my heart’s bearings to the North, to Hope.

“One step at a time,” my husband tells me. That is right. I am stepping in the direction of hope.

My hope is built on nothing less,
Than Jesus’ blood and righteousness.
I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
But wholly lean on Jesus’ Name.

On Christ the solid rock I stand,
All other ground is sinking sand,
All other ground is sinking sand.

When darkness seems to hide His face,
I rest on His unchanging grace.
In every high and stormy gale,
My anchor holds within the veil.

His oath, His covenant, His blood,
Support me in the whelming flood.
When all around my soul gives way,
He then is all my hope and stay.

When He shall come with trumpet sound,
Oh may I then in Him be found.
Dressed in His righteousness alone,
Faultless to stand before the throne.

My current trouble does not in and of itself cancel out the possibility of a good ending. Hope says that the sun will rise again, therefore good can come again. The night does not overpower the coming of the day. Good can come again.

Well, there is a rough spot. It has been easier in the past. It might get harder in the future. We do not know. We can choose to believe that good will come. Better exists just as much as worse does – so I can hope for better.

What is the good that could happen? That picture is hope.

P.S. At this present time the motivation of this writing has nothing to do with the adoption. There are some other issues at bay that I will hopefully be informing you of with more clarity in the coming days. Until then, if you are inclined to to pray you can pray that my faith is strong and that I am hopeful. Thanks.

Today I participated in my first ever psychological evaluation. The psychologist left the room twice during the interview to help some co-workers with urgent issues. I imagine that means that she was not too concerned about my mental state. The whole of the evaluation consisted of me drawing a handful of pictures and writing a small story about one of them. I like drawing and I like writing stories, so this was a painless three quarters of an hour.

She then said that she wants one more meeting with DaRonn and I together. That will be Friday morning.

After I got done with her I asked if we could schedule the home visit. She said that took place with the social worker. She went to grab her. When the social worker came out of her office I asked when we would be able to do the home visit. She said right now. So we climbed in the truck and I brought her to the house where DaRonn and Tyler were. I offered some coffee, she accepted. As I prepared it DaRonn showed her around. Tyler flirted with her. We then sat down in the living room and she asked some economical questions. I then asked her if I could get the order for the blood work that I would take to the clinic. She made it out for us. Overall she seemed pleased and said some nice things about us. Whew!

Then she wanted to find a time this week that she could meet our kids. So that is scheduled for tomorrow afternoon. I will go to social services and pick her and possibly the psychologist up at 4:30 and bring them here to our house. Good thing I love driving because she needed a ride back to social services as well this morning.

DaRonn goes in for his psychological evaluation tomorrow morning. When this week is through we will have had five meetings related to the adoption. Good stuff. I am glad it is rolling along.

Our lawyer said we need to get one more medical report done by a urine sample. Then we take the findings into the clinic. We might do that Friday afternoon. Then the people at the clinic will turn in their official report to the social services office.

When that is done the social services team will make a complete report of medical, psychological and social findings to present to the court. The judge will use these findings to assign us a child.

If you are still with us in prayer thank you so much. It helps so much, especially in a full week such as this one. Here are the points you can touch, if you don’t mind:

• DaRonn’s psych eval
• The home visit with the kids
• The final meeting with DaRonn and I together with the psychologist
• The medical report to be expedient
• The full report to be completed and given to the court in a favorable and timely fashion

I am really getting excited about all this!

Tuesday morning I wasn’t as jittery as the previous week. On our way down to the social service office we wondered what they could possibly want to know about us that they didn’t cover in the first interview. Evidently our childhoods are an important element for evaluating if we are suitable adoptive parents. For a solid hour they asked about our relationships with our siblings, our parents, and our extended families. They asked about where we lived, what our neighborhoods were like, what we liked to do as kids, what our adolescent years were like and what our teen years were like. They asked about what we learned from our parents that we would like to transmit to our own children. We laughed as we dug up old memories of pranks pulled on our siblings. Tears of gratitude moistened our eyes as we called to remembrance what our parents have instilled in us. We sighed in relief and smiled when they told us that the interview had come to a close.

Next week is a big one. Tuesday I will go in for a personal interview with the psychologist. Then Wednesday the psychologist will meet with DaRonn. Any day the social worker will visit our home. We both don’t have to be present for that, nor do our children. She just wants to see the space we have and the bedrooms. They didn’t mention an interview with the whole family. So that might happen, it might not. We are still waiting for them to give us the go ahead to present our blood work to the clinic they work with.

Thank you so much for all your prayers. They are really helping to keep things rolling smoothly. Here is the short list of prayer requests for this coming week:

• My psych eval.
• DaRonn’s psych eval.
• The home visit.

Thanks so much for walking alongside us in this process.

My heart skipped a beat when I saw the caller i.d. on my cell. My hola was a bit too eager sounding and the lawyer on the other end chuckled slightly. She couldn’t contain herself either. I could tell she was smiling as she told me, “Your approval to begin the adoption arrived today from the judge’s office.”  What a relief!

So this morning I take this official order from the judge down to social services. Evidently the woman I am looking for is named Cecilia. They will read it and in that very moment assign a team of social workers to investigate us. The order from the judge clearly states that they have thirty days to realize a medical study, a psychological study and a social report of DaRonn and me.

Their office is overloaded. We know this from having to work closely with them for the House of Dreams. We are just going to have to stay on top of them to make the appointments that they will schedule. Especially since DaRonn will be gone traveling a couple times during the month of June.

So now I would ask that you pray regarding the proceedings this month.

• Pray for our social workers, that they would be handpicked by God
• Pray that we would have favor with every person we meet in the social services department
• Pray that our medical exam is clean
• Pray that our psychological study is positive
• Pray that the social investigation is favorable
• Pray that everything is done in a timely manner
• Pray that our social workers would be punctual
• Pray that our social workers would follow through on what they say they are going to do
• Pray that we would be wise as serpents and gentle as doves
• Pray that the studies would be turned in on time
• Pray that none of our paperwork gets lost
• Pray that this month I wouldn’t stress out
• Pray that when the findings are presented to the judge that favor shines on our faces
• Pray for expediency for them
• Pray for patience for me
• Thank God that this approval arrived
• Thank God for a good lawyer
• Thank God for this opportunity we have to adopt
• Thank God for the judge that is presiding over our case
• Thank God for the social workers that are doing the best they can
• Thank God that our children are so excited to get a new sister
• Thank God for His love for us that while we were yet sinners Christ showed His love for us giving us an example of love before first sight
• Thank God that we have been adopted into His family, accepted and loved
• Thank God that this is really happening!

Just to give you an idea of where we are at in the process when social services presents their reports to the judge we are at another crucial point. The judge then assigns us a child. After the child is designated we can get a court order to start visiting her for the two months before we take her home. There are three court appearances in those two months. The third one is to finalize the adoption. That is when we will be able to take her home.

Thank you for all your encouragement and prayers. You are a vital part of this whole process.

So far so good with the adoption process. We got the last of our Stateside documents in the mail last week. Thank you for your prayers! Now the rest of the paper work will be done in Bolivia. Some of it has to take place in the capital city of La Paz and some of it here in Cochabamba. You can be praying for swiftness and favor as we keep on doing paper work. You can also pray that I have a patient and gracious attitude as well.

At times I wish that I could pay someone else to go do the tedious work of standing in line, making the calls, getting the information and meeting with officials. Then I remind myself that if I were carrying this child in my body there would be tedious moments of stretch marks, swollen ankles, a huge belly and hormonal mood swings. So while I wait for the moment that I will hold my daughter in my arms I will continue.

Our lawyer told us this week that we are considered nationals because we have permanent residence visas. This means we have preference over the international adoptive parents in other countries. This also means that our adoption should go faster. This is good news.

The porch door slid shut behind me as I stepped out. Oklahoma summer afternoons are smoldering. The house was quiet with my tiny ones taking naps. My enlarging belly with child inside had wearied me. I slumped down on the cool concrete step where a narrow strip of shade was to be found under the overhang from the roof and gutter. I was weighed down not only in my body but in my spirit and soul too. The dull still heat threatened to choke out the seedling of hope that seemed to be withering away. Swirling windstorms of worry had dried the bubbling joy that once was my oasis. My head drooped and I held the back of my sweaty neck with both palms.

As I allowed my eyelids to close one hand slipped down to my side and landed on a small stone. Responding to reflex I picked up the hard piece and begin to roll it between my fingers. My glazed over eyes gazed at the rough edges of the dusty rock. The small hollow knocking sound it made as it fell to the paving broke through the silent moan of the  moment.

Pray. The word sat by my ear unmoving. Pray.

The fallen stone found its way to my hand again. Words came slowly. I labored to make my breath and mouth release the syllables. The stone became the object of my turmoil. I looked at it and spoke to it as though it were the agony that I was facing. I pressed it with my fist; my stifled fury seeping from the pores of my skin. Uncurling my fingers revealed a damp stone.

More. The calm yet determined word stared me in the face. More.

I found another stone, still clenching the first with my fist. The words came and I formed my prayer as I focused on that second rock. The two were not all. I rushed to look for another. Invoking unseen powers my voice rose to a strained whisper. The stones embodied my worries, my fears, my problems, my issues. Gathering stone after stone I allowed individual situations to surface and be yanked out by the stammering prayers.

Uncaring of the time the plow had driven up through me and I was left with a fistful of stones. Quieted I stared at the mound piled in my cupped hand. The smallness of those ancient bits caused me to quizzically wonder if what had been weighing me down emotionally and spiritually were not similar in size and age to these pieces of earth I held.

Years have passed since that pivotal afternoon. I don’t remember what I did with those stones. I don’t even remember what plights they personified. I had forgotten those stones until just now. Did I save them? No. Did I paint them and put them on display? No. Did I throw them with vengeance to the yellowing grass behind our dingy duplex? I think I would have remembered if I had done that. Their work was done. They had spoken their words. It was probably laundry or dishes that beckoned me from that encounter to go back inside. This I know, those desperate prayers of momentary crushing pain were answered there in the backyard of our temporary place of residence. How am I so sure? It is because I am alive. I have that hope as a strong tree grown up from that struggling sapling. There is a stream of joy flowing in my heart that could have only come from God.

I know the answers came because when I remembered that time I was thinking of some people in my life that are walking on gravel with bare feet. I can pray for them and pray more for them. The boy that went to fight the giant did so with a fistful of stones. It was a fistful of stones that were aimed at a woman when she was forgiven. Stones were piled by a grateful man who had been saved from a devastating flood. It was a great stone that was rolled away to reveal that our Victor lives forevermore with the power to conquer death, hell and the grave!

He lives so that we might live!

Maranatha!

Amen!

“There will be a few bumps along the way,” my friend said.

“Treadmills are boring because there are no bumps,” I replied.

This was our parting conversation this morning. My friend got some very good news about the process of buying an apartment and she was stating realistically what she foresees. I was thinking about our adoption.

Tuesday was really good. Wednesday (today), not so much.

The first of a tall stack of documents that has to get processed is my Bolivian identification card that was stolen from me earlier this year. Getting this lamanated photo i.d. replacement requires standing in line about nine times in various offices in three parts of the city over the span of three to seven workdays. The bonus feature is that you get to pay a variety of fees to each person that you are so privilidged to see, both obligatory and, how shall we put it, complimentary. Overall the people have been helpful. One lady even joked with me, I think, when she was taking my picture and said, “Let’s be serious now. No smiling, you are sad because your i.d. was stolen.” Half way smirk on behalf quickly followed by a click. Another lady was candid as she said with a smile, “I have bad news for you. When you come back on Friday to pick up this paperwork and take it to the office next to mine you will not have your picture taken because the machine is out of service, so they will let you know when you will be able to come back, ma’am.” Yes, there are two sets of photos for this precious card.

Do you know what I was thinking when this card was being stolen along with about $40 cash, dare I say it, at knife point? (Don’t be too freaked out, it was only an old steak knife.) I think I even said it out loud to the kid. Take all my money but please don’t take my i.d. card because the process to replace it is tedious and long.

Apart from the paper work there is the legal process of coordinating the cooperation of our lawyer, the judicial courts, social services, and our own orphanage. There are so many details about parental rights honored by the government in an attempt to keep the children with their birth family that it makes my head spin. My logic is that the parents forfeited all rights when they allowed their children to be abused, starved, and abandoned. But the Bolivian system allows parents to take classes while their child is in our orphanage in order to be seen as fit parents and receive their child back. This can take months and years.

If the parents are seen as unfit or no family member appears with proof of connection to the child then the child is appointed a judge and the judge appoints the child to a family. Then it is another three to nine months before the child is adopted. In our case of wanting a specific child from our specific orphanage we have to work closely with the lawyer to acquire guardianship of the child in that small window of time between when the parents are proved unfit or absent and when the judge assigns the child to a family. With the two girls that fit into the age range we desire (three to four years old) we missed that window. I am happy for the girls that they have been assigned to a family; at the same time I know that it could be another year before they are in that home if everything works out. It was like a hit to the gut when we found this out this morning.

There are three other girls that fit the age range in our orphanage. I can’t get into specifics but there are difficulties with parental involvement and siblings. They try to keep the siblings together when being adopted.

So now we are praying and deciding how to move forward from here. Do we choose a boy or child of a different age? Do we separate siblings who will still be a part of each others’ lives because of the close proximity we will continue to have with the orphanage? Do we pursue proving the parents of one of the girls unfit and go against the Bolivian philosophy of reinsertion? Do we wait months to see if the adoptive families the girls have been assigned to per chance fall through so we can have a chance at one of them? Do we adopt from a different orphanage? Do we contact social services to see if a girl is waiting to be placed in an orphanage and accept her into ours with the intent of adopting her?

This is so much information. I told you I would keep you updated. Mostly this is a record for my own purposes. It is good to get it off my chest and I appreciate any and all who are ‘listening’ and praying with us. There are a few other things that I could write about that could be seen as bumps in the road, but I think they will work themselves out. I may be writing about them later if they fester and are not resolved. I think you know enough at the moment.

The enemy does not like families. The resistence we are experiencing is obviously from the animosity towards the power there is in godly, unified families. God is a Father and He operates through families. I am holding tight to Him and trusting that He is putting my daughter in my hands. We will keep moving forward.