This picture leaves me speechless every time I see it. I snapped the shot when I was coming in to church on Sunday. These lovely ladies are Dreamers at the House of Dreams. They all got new hair pretties and were happy to show me. You can click on it to see the original sized version.

In human communication we quantify and qualify nouns. Our adjectives and inflection give away our opinions. The slightest hint of sarcasm or condescension can skew the literal meaning of a phrase to make it mean the absolute opposite. A scowl, furrowed brows, crossed arms and gritted teeth seethe out, “I don’t care,” and we know instantly that the person cares very much about whatever travesty has landed them in this moment of defiance. Two girls walking down the street with elbows interlocked share a secret of the silly sort, a giggle, a sparkle in the eyes, and the one tells the other, “I don’t believe a word of it,” and we all know the bond of trust between the couple has been strengthened in this moment of true truth. Somehow we know how to read the signals and listen past the dictionary definitions of the words.

At times I read aloud. Yes, to my children or when I am addressing a crowd. Also, though, to myself. Some books just beg to be heard. Some technical articles are solved when I slow down and hear each step. The rough waters of Spanish bodies of words are set calm again when I take the time to pronounce each word and understand the meaning. When I practice this out loud lecture certain combinations that I would normally run right past stand still and grab my attention as if I had never heard them before.

A pair of words seen together frequently gave me pause today: good mother. You have heard that, right? So how is it that we, as a society, have come to qualify this noun ‘mother’? A woman either is a mother or she is not a mother. It is a definition in itself; why must we define the definition? We turn the noun to a verb and we say that a lady mothered or is mothering a being. Funny that we never say motherer. The female parent is a mother. We don’t ever say, “She is a good female.” Either a person is female or not. Yet, we feel inclined to describe the description.

It comes back to the way in which a woman performs her duties as a mother. A woman who neglects her children is said to be a bad mother. She is still a mother, though. This is a point of contemplation for me because mothering a brood is not easy. The gravity of being entrusted with raising these little people is not something I take lightly. I worry. Too much I worry that I am not a ‘good mother’. Too many times I ask why God would give me all these precious little ones to care for. I fall short, at times I loose my temper, more often that I should be I am lazy, sometimes I just hope no one is watching me when I am impatient with my kids, and the list goes on.

So why am I the one mothering these children? Is it because the mothers who birthed them are bad mothers? Ah, yes, to clarify, I am thinking of the wee ones that found their way to my arms not through the furies of the birth canal but through the horrors of abuse and abandonment. Were their mothers bad? The ones we have now all have at least one parent living. I hate to think of where they came from and what their little eyes have seen. No matter how hard I try I cannot hate their mothers. You will not hear me say that they have bad mothers. Maybe some can find motivation in judging people they don’t know; I simply cannot operate like that.

Am I a replacement mother? Am I an interim mother? Am I a substitute mother? Can I even be called a good mother? For the sake of the children I desire with my whole heart to perform mothering duties well. I want to care for them, provide for them, hug them, raise them and love them the best way I can. As we make the transition to ONE home for all of us I am struck, like a bowling ball in the gut, with the fact that round about a dozen of these kids may one day call me ‘mamá’. It feels like a weighty honor. I want it, but I am also so reverentially fearful of all the implications that follow.

Whether they be persons born from my womb, adopted, brought into our home, or just with me for a short while I truly do want to be a good mother for them. This is my prayer.

God, You are our Father. I trust You. I love You. This task of mothering so many is daunting at times. I do not want to fail You; for I know that these little ones, as a heritage, have been entrusted to me. I do not want to fail the children who are a precious treasure in Your eyes and mine. Please help me to mother well, God. Please help me to see them as You see them, speak to them as You would speak to them, and love them as only You can enable me to. Bless my children, Father. Hold their hearts in Yours. Help us, please. Amen.

(click the image for an enlarged view)

Background of the pic: I took this pic on Monday, April 12, 2010 at the House of Dreams, our orphanage. His name is Yamil. He was watching my husband hold a baby.

Now, on with the crunchy, munchy, mixed-up life I lead…

• On Palm Sunday, March 28, 2010, I celebrated 25 years since the day that God called me and I chose to make Jesus Christ the Lord of my life. My quarter century saved was recognized in some beautiful ways. Friends gave me gifts, I gave my children each new bibles and I was able to share the message of salvation at church to everyone. It was a great day.

A card, a candle, a fridge magnet, a little box, two cakes, a sushi lunch, and a lovely necklace were my gifts. I feel loved!

The bibles I inscribed and gave to my kids. Metalic and Spanish, fun!

• This past Friday marked 24 years since I was baptized in water on April 9, 1986. Saved at eight and baptized a year later when I was nine.
• In the past few weeks one of the little girls at our orphanage was adopted and another was reunited with her birth mother. This means there are now 20 kids under our care. I update the Kid Pics page if you would like to visit the blog and get to know the kids a bit:

• We voted in the mayoral elections on Easter Sunday. It was obligatory. Had to work through some culture shock a bit.
• Met a couple missionary gals. It has been fun getting to know them.
• DaRonn is leading the Monday morning all-school chapel sessions now. The kids are loving it. We started out in ministry working with kids so he is full of dynamic and silly ideas to help kids fall in love with God and His word. I am so proud of him.
• The U.S. consulate office in our city is shut down. Big bummer! This means a trip to Santa Cruz or La Paz for any official stuff we need to do like passport request and renewal, born abroad certificate, etc. Travel is fun. I choose to be glad for the excuse.
• In an odd mix between Spring Cleaning and what feels alot like nesting I have had a drive to clean out closets, do repairs and clear out clutter from the house. Those who know me well know that keeping house is not something that comes naturally to me. So this has been really weird.
• Finally, for my friends who are Chiefs fans out there take a look at the snap-shot I got of our little Fernando yesterday. Ha!

Go Chiefs!

Sunday, December 6, tomorrow, is election day in Bolivia. President Evo Morales of the party called ‘Movement to Socialism’ is the favored candidate to win and thus enter into his second term. Entering into political opinion is futile. I know this is going to ruffle some feathers but to be quite honest I do not even care who earns the most votes. It will be what it will be.

During our eight years in Bolivia there have been 6 presidents.  Some of those presidents were voted into office. Some were forced to resign before the end of their term. Some were just filling in until the next election. Each one has brought different difficulties and different improvements.

There are a few things prohibited for all residents on election day, which happens to always be planned for a Sunday. First, the selling of alcohol and preferably the consumption thereof. Second, the use of motor vehicles. Third, the assembling of groups of people. This means no church service. We are holding a Saturday night deal for our congregation to replace Sunday morning.

Will you join us in praying for peace in the country and that God is glorified? So far there are no signs of riots or violence. We thank God that it has been calm. Just for extra precaution you can pray for safety.

There have been some things rumored about what the administration of this expected winner will work to accomplish. We can also pray that God’s priorities for the Bolivian people are accomplished above all no matter who takes office at the end of this election.

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On the subject of voting, thank you to all who have given me their thoughts about the logo idea for the House of Dreams. Your input has been very helpful. Soon you will be seeing the design we have selected popping up around the House of Dreams site and blog and other such places.

One of my first tasks as I have become more present in running the House of Dreams is to develop a logo. We have never had one. Since I am branching out with more contacts both nationally and internationally I felt that a recognizable logo was needed. It will also come in handy for the T-shirts I want to get made as well as for the volunteer and employee smocks / polos.  We mustn’t forget about: murals, business cards, photo album covers, random doodling and all sorts of fun printable stuff.

There are some ideas below that we like. I would love to hear what you are thinking. Which one do you like the very best? Why do you like it so very much? (You will notice that the Spanish counterpart is snuggled up against the English one so you can see both together.)

There are 4 designs:

1. Black with white letters
2. White with black letters
3. Color with large letters
4. Color with thin letters

Thanks for your input!

Now, on with the crunchy, munchy, mixed up life I lead…

• Did you see that we found a new place for the House of Dreams? You can see more pictures on the blog: here. Or by clicking the following picture. Moving day is set for November 28th. I have been organizing the volunteers. It will be a fun day.

The new House of Dreams home

• I am so excited for this Saturday! There are ten of us who will be climbing Mt. Tunari. We will leave here at 6 AM and drive two hours to where we start the climb. We have a guide. It is going to be so awesome! This is a picture I took one evening of the peak.

Mt. Tunari near Cochabamba, Bolivia

• My kids finish school tomorrow. Raimy is happy for the summer to come. Timothy is indifferent. Gabrielle made a list of all the subjects she would like to continue throughout the summer months.

Gabrielle's summer school plans

• Does anyone know the name of the spider featured in yesterday’s WWW?

Click for enlarged view

• There has been a new idea brewing in my spirit. I alluded to it on FaceBook some yesterday. It is not time for an “official” announcement. Though I am feeling like it is the right thing to do. More on that later. For now, the closest thing to a smile that we have caught on film of this little princess. Just a bit camera shy is all, because her whole face lights up when she does smile. I will catch that smile on camera and it will be glorious!

2 yr. old Dreamer Girl

Now, on with the crunchy, munchy, mixed-up life I lead…

• This morning we awoke to snow capped mountains on all sides. This was just the icing on the cake to falling asleep to the sound of a steady rain. This weather is uncharacteristic for a Cochabamban winter, but much welcome.
• In the last month I have received more than a dozen foot related gifts by way of visitors, friends and my husband. How fun to have new slippers, socks and shoes. Oh, and most of the socks are reminiscent of the Pippi Longstockings era. So fun! She is one of my most beloved childhood personalities.
• DaRonn, my husband, is planning a bunch of trips to the States in the coming months for the purpose of raising funds. If you are interested in organizing a group (small or large) that he could talk to then let me know, please.
• The next question after ^that^ bit of info is usually, “So, are you coming with him?” I would love to. If it works out I may. The way it is looking now is that we will bring the whole family up after the adoption is finalized and all the paperwork of our new daughter is in order to allow her to travel internationally. That is when I will come. It has been about 2 and 1/2 years since we all have been to the States. That is a long time.
• Since DaRonn leaves for his first trip to the the States this week I am thinking I might give driving a try. We have a truck and the clutch is a bit heavy. Since the surgery I have been feeling stronger every day. I want to get back on the road, but I don’t want to strain anything that is still healing. We will see how it goes.
• It has been over a month with the new design. I really like it. I hope you do, too. With any layout there are always some little things that you are not quite happy with; that is to be expected. One of those little things here at the @ is the fact that the home page does not display the posts so you can read them on your first click to @ngie. I was aware of that when we were setting this up. My designer came up with a solution. It is the ‘blog’ link on the page directory. If you follow me using the favorites listing on your browser’s tool bar then you can add this address to avoid going to the home page every time you come to the @: http://www.angiewashington.com/blog/ It is a complete list of all my posts. Use the ‘next page’ at the bottom to go to older posts.
  

  image is a link to the 'blog' page

• There is a new video on the Billboard.
• Ending on a fun note… Choquito said to me the other day, “Who is your boyfriend, Tia Angie? I know who it is! The pastor is your boyfriend!”

Photograph credit: This little beauty had her picture taken by Libby Jordan or Shauna Clay. They came at the same time to help in the orphanage and then graciously passed me their pictures. Thanks to whomever it was.