A few months ago a member of our church told me she had an idea of a way to honor us for ten years of service in Bolivia. She had rallied some other people from church to help her with this idea. They wanted to bring DaRonn’s mom down for a visit. She had never been to Bolivia before. This member of the church said that she wanted DaRonn’s mom to see all we had accomplished and be proud of her son. I told them this was a great idea.

For the following weeks we communicated across the continents to prepare: the tickets, the time off work, the passport, the visa, and the vaccination. Finally she came! We had a wonderful week with Grandma Charlie in town.

On her final day in the city of Cochabamba we observed Pedestrian Day, during which use of motor vehicles is prohibited. After the church service we had a nice little walk together. Back at home we made fun photos for posterity.

We are so very grateful for this amazing gift given to us by the church body here at Iglesia Cristo Nación. ¡Los cristonacioneros son lo máximo!

Enjoy some pictures from our final day together.

"Aragatza" best ice-cream in town and it's sold from the side of a truck

Gabrielle wanted to bring our poodle Shep along for the walk (photo by Raimy O.)

Another photo by Raimy O. of Timothy

DVD sales in front of our gate. That's our ministry's sign. DaRonn and his mom share a love of movies.

The blue graffiti says "Rechaza el Engaño" which means: Resist Deception

Our neighbor in the market. She sits here every day.

The Washington family with Grandma Charlie

Mother and Son

Quote from the movie Tombstone

Turkey Creek Jack Johnson: Why you doin’ this, Doc?

Doc Holliday: Because Wyatt Earp is my friend.

Turkey Creek Jack Johnson: Friend? Hell, I got lots of friends.

Doc Holliday: … I don’t.

Those lines come at the end of the following clip. In case you prefer your children not hear the word ‘hell’ used as an expletive you might want to wait to watch it.

Click here to view the embedded video.

My husband, DaRonn, and I are best friends. We’ve been that way since high school. Some take the liberty to say, “Oh, you were high school sweethearts!” Nope. We really were just very good friends. The romantic stuff didn’t start until the year we were engaged and then married (1996).

Movies are one of the things both he and I love. His recall for quoting flicks is nothing less than astounding. I amuse him with my atrocious actor identification skills. Not many favorite shows appear on both of our lists. Yet, Tombstone happens to be one of those rare ones that we both thoroughly enjoy.

The reason might just be the theme of loyalty displayed in this Western cowboy show. Shared values in a marriage makes things run much smoother. Whereas the two individuals needn’t be identical in this area, some close similarities makes for a more peaceful home. The character trait of loyalty can be found in the top ten of most important values to both DaRonn and I.

We hang out together frequently throughout the week. When I see something cool his name pops into my mind to call first. We seek and take advice from each other. I am so very happy to be able to call my man my best friend.

Talk Topic Q: What do you do to stay friends with your spouse?

P.S. From this union of friendship and martial devotion have come five wonderful children. The youngest son turns five today! Happy birthday Tyler!

When DaRonn was a teenager he became passionate for the things of God. He began a group at his high school dedicated to studying the bible and doing outreach projects. He signed up to teach a Sunday School class and got paired with me to lead the 3rd and 4th graders. He was in church every time the doors were open for morning services, evening services, youth group and every other special meeting. He even hung out with the pastor in his free time.

Our friendship began in those hallowed halls of a mall turned church. We were a part of a group of young people from that church who hung out together. There was a couple at church who invited us to come over one night a week to hang out and talk about the things of God. We filled their home with energetic teenagers hungry to learn and grow spiritually. God was at the center of everything we did.

It must be clarified, though, that DaRonn was not a saint all the time. I had to laugh when his mother had no other recourse but to ground the boy from church. She forbade him from going to church for some kind of misbehavior. She knew that would get the message across to her son. At the time I just found it funny.

Now I can have a double laugh because I did a similar thing.

My Gabrielle is great friends with a girl in The House of Dreams. We are closer than neighbors with our orphanage seeing as it is located on our property just down the steps from our apartment and across the yard and paved soccer court. Every day Gabrielle asks me if she can go play at the orphanage. My answer is usually yes.

So most afternoons she can be found mixing it up with the 18 kids who live a stones throw away. They jump rope, do Barbies hair, make believe, swing, slide, run, and even get a smidgen of homework and chores around the orphanage done together every once in a while. Can you imagine? How clever it will be for her to tell people when she is older that she grew up in an orphanage.

The other day Gabrielle made some choices that crossed the line we had clearly drawn. She is naturally a limit pusher so this sort of thing has happened before and will most likely happen again. The infraction committed involved behavior at the orphanage. So it occurred to me that the only consequence that would have any impact on her would be to restrict her from the most favorite thing in her life. I grounded her from going to the orphanage for a certain number of days.

Trust me, I do realize that most parents would be thrilled if their nine year old daughter preferred to spend most of her time at an outreach center. It makes me so proud to see her caring for the younger ones, folding clothes, helping the kids with their homework or serving plates of food. I know this will have positive benefits in her life long term. I just didn’t feel as though I had any other recourse at the moment because of the choices she made.

That only lasted a few days. She is back to having a ton of fun. She learned that it is important to make better choices. I learned something too. I now understand my mother-in-law’s action when she grounded her son from church. We mothers are a funny bunch of folk.

Now on with the crunchy, munchy, mixed-up life I lead…

• Pomegranate season has begun! For the the next four to six weeks my fingers will be tainted purple. Yum!
• Third week of the 2011 school year started yesterday.
• Due to strikes in the city two days of school were canceled last week.
• The city is also gearing up for the yearly week long festival called ‘Carnaval’.
• After Carnaval comes the birthday of my eldest. We will be parents of a teenager!
• After that momentous occasion our interns will have their baby.
• I’ve got babies and birthdays on the brain since the 27th of this month marks 9 months since we brought Kaitlynn home. Need to journal my thoughts about the significance of that date.
• Do you read the blog we do for the orphanage? Three times a week we have stories going up about The House of Dreams. Here’s the link: http://houseofdreamsorphanage.wordpress.com/
• Last night I taught a group of people how to eat sushi.
• I keep replaying in my mind a sentence that my husband said to me yesterday that made me feel so very loved.

When my youngest boy, Tyler, was an infant we used taxis to get around. Some taxi drivers are chatty. One afternoon I ducked into the cab of one such chatty driver with my baby boy on my lap. The man began with the usual questions of where I am from, how long we have been here, etc. Then he asked about my boy. Is he your son? Yes. Was he born here? Yes. Then the oddest thing happened. The opinion expressed with beaming pride had me scraping my jaw off the floor mat of the back seat of his car.

“Ah! So he is Bolivian! How good that he is improving the Bolivian race!” he nodded his head and looked once more at the light skin of my son through the crooked rear-view mirror. Personally I find that saddening.

In related news some years back Miss Bolivia commented, “It is wrong to assume that all Bolivians are short, poor Indians. In the tropical region I am from we are all tall, white and speak English.” She was ridiculed in the press and many shameful articles were published denouncing the racism that runs rampant in Bolivia. It never ceases to amaze me that in a nation with the land mass the size of Texas and the population comparable to that of New York City there is so much hatred between people groups. The Cambas have words to say about the Collas. Those of the Altiplano criticize those living in the Amazonian region. The light the dark. The European and the Native. Those who purely speak Castellano and those who speak a more ancient tongue. Not to mention the five major political parties ranging from Socialist to Autonomous. The divides run deep and dark, as I am sure they do in most lands.

I digress.

Recently the issue of race was raised on my cousin Lynde’s blog: A Wordy Girl Mom ‘The R Word”. She and her husband are as caucasian as they come. Last year they were blessed to bring home a beautiful, vibrant daughter from Haiti. Their daughter is in Kindergarten this year. Amongst the multitude of adjustments to be made there have been some discussions that have arisen about race. Lynde addressed a few ways that they are teaching their girl about race. I thought this would be a wonderful opportunity to talk about race in our family.

Here is one of the comments I left over there on her blog that got me to thinking about doing a dedicated post:

… I wonder why race is such a huge issue in the States, the supposed Melting Pot. Ever since my kids could be aware of stuff like that we have lived in Bolivia. This morning after reading your post I thought to myself, “Oh, I have never even fielded this race business with my kids. I wonder if they have been hurt or something by someone.” So I went immediately one by one and asked them if anyone had ever brought up the fact that they are a different color from their papa, that their mama and papa are different colors, etc. Nope. Not one. Raimy is 12, and the most sensitive, yet no one had ever brought that up with her. Maybe we are just generally “odd” in Bolivian eyes and so the race stuff gets lumped in with all the other stuff that sets us apart. I am very curious if when we come to the States [for a visit] in January if the race stuff will come up.

During the beautiful stages of coloring books and learning our colors when my three big ones were little I threw a question out there just to see how they would respond.

“What color are you?”

They looked at their arms for a while and then to each other. The corporate answer was finally, “We are skin color.” I told them that was great. Then I took it one step further, “What color is your papa?” They decided that he, too, was skin color just a little more brown than they are. “And me, what color am I?” They tell me I am skin color too, of course, but with a little more pink in it.

Since then we have had other talks not so much about race but about ethnicity. To fill you in, in case you did not know, my husband, DaRonn is African American. I am as white as all get out. Living in Bolivia has opened their eyes to the beautiful spectrum of humanity. To allow them to identify with their roots we let them play with some titles. Here is the way that they describe each member of our family.

Papa – African American

Mama – Caucasian American

Raimy, Timothy and Gabrielle – African Caucasian American

Tyler – African Caucasian Bolivian American

Kaitlynn – Bolivian American

I truly hope that this list does not offend anyone. We celebrate our African American roots. We enjoy the Caucasian influence in our lives. We revel in the tri-racial aspect that the Bolivian boy and girl bring to us. Then through it all we live in a hammock sway between the Northern hemisphere and the Southern hemisphere, knowing the rhythms, tastes, weather and speech of more than one place.

In the middle of it all I know in my heart that the culture rich existence we provide them will be to their benefit. Then the temporal worry wart whispers once in a while in me wondering if I am inflicting irreparable damage. Inevitably within minutes there come a reminder that it is ok in a hug around my neck, a Spanglish make-believe wafting to my ear, the feel of the brush in my hand as I style and shape hairs, or in the look in their eyes when they call me mama.

I think often about their futures. I wonder who they will choose to fill their hearts with. I imagine that the multi-cultural kaleidoscope will be one of my greatest treasures when I am old and wrinkly.

P.S. I didn’t plan on writing a 1,000 word post on this topic. Must’ve been important to me.

EDIT: Since this is my 700th post I am going to take the liberty to add some irresistable charts. You know how I love my charts!

Racial Ethnicity Demographic comparisons in the U.S. 2008

Racial Ethnicity Demographic comparisons in Bolivia 2002

Change is a familiar friend. The change I am feeling right now could be compared to what a driver feels as they change lanes on a busy highway trying to make their way to the exit ramp. My head is turning back and forth, I am checking my surroundings, stuff is happening all around at dangerous speeds, the anxiety is up a tad because I fear I am going to miss something important… yet all the while I have my goal in mind and the actions I am taking are leading me to that end. When I am finally on that blessed ramp I can slow down and merge with the calmer side road. It will be nice to be able to take in the scenery and have a nice chat with those in the car. Until then I am on full alert, full speed ahead.

One thing I am sure of is the fact that I will be different when this adoption is finally finalized. There is a welcome change taking place in so many facets of my being. I can’t define it right now (I’m driving, for goodness sake, gotta keep my eyes on the road, ya’ know, can’t get distracted right now). All I know is that I will like it very much.

———————————————————————–

Things are going very well with the bonding, the visiting, the process, and all that.

On the technical side of things we turned in the form yesterday requesting a second court appearance to be granted permission of “convivencia” (that she gets to live with us!). This form could only be submitted after the reports from the social worker and psychologist were completed and turned in. Thanks to the top notch team at the orphanage this was done quickly and efficiently. Until this second appearance is given we continue to visit daily, usually twice a day. Yesterday I think we finally found the quickest route that gets us there is under 15 minutes, rather than the 20+ it was taking going as the crow flies.

On the bonding front (by the way, I dislike greatly the word ‘bonding’. It sounds so gluey) all is well. She really loves her papa. She and I are finding ways to enjoy being together. With Raimy she is tight. Raimy is helping her connect with Gabrielle. Timothy and her have their moments of pure sweetness and then they are off playing again. Tyler and her have shown no particular feelings one way or the other. They give hugs when it is time to say good-bye; I think their connection will take place more when we finally have her in our house.

On all other fronts not related to the adoption we are a bit stretched. I prefer not to go into that right now because I feel like I am going to break under the taunting voice of perfectionism if I begin to pick it all apart. Compartmentalizing, prioritizing, making quick decisions and sticking with them, selective ignorance and adjusted expectations have been the way to just push through.

On the emotional front we are keeping it together. We acquired permission from the home to bring her to church with us along with a Tia (caregiver) from the home. Tia Lucy came and helped be a reference point of familiarity for her since we had only just started to get to know her on Thursday. It went so much better than I could have ever hoped. Turns out she likes being the center of attention in a large group of people (gets that from me! ha!). The people at church were so kind and happy with us. I tried not to cry so as to not concern Kaitlynn. She is so well behaved and just sat on my lap playing quietly as Papa preached.

On the practical front we have had some fun happenings.

• I now know her shoe size.
• I got to give her a bath.
• As long as I have a bottle of water to share we are best buds.
• I got to do her hair for the first time.
• She showed me the clothes she wanted to wear and I helped her dress.
• We got a half-way decent family picture thanks to a park bench, a rock, luck and the timer feature on our fancy camera.

Without further ado, a few pics from our last couple of days.

Papa and Gabrielle having some fun in the park

I love this picture of us all together

Kaitlynn loving on Raimy

Just us Girls

What two year old doesn't love this game? "Again, again, again..."

The adoration is mutual with Timothy and Kaitlynn

Mama and Kaitlynn

Even the sky agreed it was a happy day that evening as we said our farewells

It is a good tired though. Not wanting to miss a moment, attentive to the needs of our new one, attentive to the needs of the older kids, juggling ministry responsibilities, and trying to not forget to eat makes for some well earned exhaustion. Let’s see if I can make my brain squeeze out some memorable stuff.

Tyler insists on calling his new sister Micheal.

Raimy made some strong ties with her sister at the park.

Gabrielle told me she had some of the same anxieties I did about if her new sister would like her or not.

Timothy stepped in and took some initiative in being helpful with Tyler.

Kaitlynn likes: potato chips, cell phones, swings, animal names and sounds – especially cows, hugs, drinking water from a 2L bottle, sorting shapes, stacking blocks and knocking them down, brushing hair, and electronic toys that play songs.

We are coming along on the names. She has Papa down pat; even goes looking for him calling out Papa. So sweet!

Tomorrow, if everything goes according to plan, we will pick up a worker and Kaitlynn to bring them to church with us. Should be a good time!

First of all I want to say that I am so very touched by all the people leaving comments here at The @, on Facebook, Twitter and in personal emails. We feel all the support and prayers. Thank you!

Today was amazing! I was so proud of all my children as they played together so nicely. Worries about jealousy? None. They were really so great! The newest little Washington was a bit overwhelmed at first both in the morning and after her nap; then there was this moment when she just clicked over. We all saw it. She started smiling, talking and even laughing.

I think my favorite part of the day was when we were getting ready to go and she went around the room pointing at all of us saying: Papa, Mama, Hermana, Hermana, Hermano, Hermano. Then she gave us all big hugs one at a time. So great!

Can you believe it?!

Wowzers! Smiles all around!

She wanted water from the big 2L like everyone else. (Yes, we are already sharing germs. ha!) So I helped her and it spilled down her front. I expected a cry. Instead I got to hear her laugh for the first time. It became a game. I think she drank a whole liter of water. The whole front of her jacket was soaked! Then there was the cap game... everyone was laughing. It was great!

We took about a hundred pics today plus a couple short videos. It is nigh unto midnight so I am going to upload just a few more shots from our time together and call it a day.

We were still warming up to each other here.

Firsts today:

• Hearing her say to me, “Te quiero, mamá.” (I love you, mama.)
• Hearing her laugh.
• Seeing all the siblings having fun together.

Now, on with the crunchy, munchy, mixed-up life I lead…

• On Palm Sunday, March 28, 2010, I celebrated 25 years since the day that God called me and I chose to make Jesus Christ the Lord of my life. My quarter century saved was recognized in some beautiful ways. Friends gave me gifts, I gave my children each new bibles and I was able to share the message of salvation at church to everyone. It was a great day.

A card, a candle, a fridge magnet, a little box, two cakes, a sushi lunch, and a lovely necklace were my gifts. I feel loved!

The bibles I inscribed and gave to my kids. Metalic and Spanish, fun!

• This past Friday marked 24 years since I was baptized in water on April 9, 1986. Saved at eight and baptized a year later when I was nine.
• In the past few weeks one of the little girls at our orphanage was adopted and another was reunited with her birth mother. This means there are now 20 kids under our care. I update the Kid Pics page if you would like to visit the blog and get to know the kids a bit:

• We voted in the mayoral elections on Easter Sunday. It was obligatory. Had to work through some culture shock a bit.
• Met a couple missionary gals. It has been fun getting to know them.
• DaRonn is leading the Monday morning all-school chapel sessions now. The kids are loving it. We started out in ministry working with kids so he is full of dynamic and silly ideas to help kids fall in love with God and His word. I am so proud of him.
• The U.S. consulate office in our city is shut down. Big bummer! This means a trip to Santa Cruz or La Paz for any official stuff we need to do like passport request and renewal, born abroad certificate, etc. Travel is fun. I choose to be glad for the excuse.
• In an odd mix between Spring Cleaning and what feels alot like nesting I have had a drive to clean out closets, do repairs and clear out clutter from the house. Those who know me well know that keeping house is not something that comes naturally to me. So this has been really weird.
• Finally, for my friends who are Chiefs fans out there take a look at the snap-shot I got of our little Fernando yesterday. Ha!

Go Chiefs!

During the last year that I could call myself a teenager I casually asked my best friend a question about the future.

“How many kids do you think you are going to have?”

Shocked, he looked at me and told me he had never thought about it before. I offered that I expected I would have a dozen. He laughed, of course. Who wouldn’t at least grin at the prospect of a girl planning on having a relatively large family? Confiding fully in my friend I went on to further boggle his mind by telling him that I had all their names picked out and written down on a list.

The conversation progressed and climaxed in a challenge. He would make a list similar to mine. We would come together and compare lists. It would be fun. A few weeks later he told me he was done. We set a time to get together with the lists for the revealing. What a riot that was! He had three names written down. As he read some of the names on my list he gave me the famous raised eye-brow. There was one amazing thing about the lists that surprised us both.

The first boys name that he and I had on our lists was completely identical! First and middle names written down without prior knowledge to the other person. It was a tad bit spooky.

Less than a year after the comparison of our lists my best friend, DaRonn, and I were engaged to be married. The subject of children had come up a few times before and after the engagement. He talked me down from 12 and I talked him up from 3. We met in-between with 5. Before we said our “I do”s the list of our children’s names was solidified. Even the order was concreted in our minds. Want to know the list?

• Raimy Olivia
• Timothy Aaron
• Gabrielle Moriah
• Kaitlynn Glory
• Tyler Cole

We also decided that our youngest girl would be adopted. So far we have been able to make checks on the list as the years have gone by. We are just waiting for our last child. The idea is that she will be older than Tyler and younger than Gabrielle. As I have said with our first four, I am completely open to changes to our plan and will love my children unconditionally. I know that our Sovereign God can do as He wills. That being said, I imagine that things are going to work out as they were set about on the list some 14 years ago.

Every time I tell this story I am met with admiring disbelief. Believe what you want. It is what it is. Above all, I am just overwhelmingly grateful for the children God has seen fit to give us. This post (and the five that will follow) are an act of posterity so that my children will know how and why we chose the names that we did for them.