Without carrying this analogy too far, a handful of cards splayed before me begs me to pick. Unlike the usual way a card trick starts, though, the cards show face up. I know the choices, now I just gotta pick.
I do not believe life is a cosmic joke. I feel we have a say in our destinies. I believe very strongly that God wants good things for our lives, yet He chooses to allow humanity the dignity of decision.
So, back to the cards. Choices.
I feel a pressure of time and expectations urging me to place my efforts in a decided direction. A pull in me towards focus and dedication restrain my ability to ‘just go with it’. I see too many outcomes.
Yet, I don’t see clearly enough to proclaim one path the austere Right and all the others a fatal Wrong. Pride associated with making the Good or Right decision vanishes. Guilt piled on by making the Bad or Wrong decision dissipates. When I remove from the equation the Good and the Bad, the Right and the Wrong, I find freedom. All that remains is the Choice.
Prayer? Of course, much has been made, and continues.
Advice? Sought and accepted, mind still open.
I desire to focus my resources, talents, time, and energy. I want to do what I do well. The thought of spreading myself between a number of projects exhausts me. I can see myself doing well in any of the following areas. (Listed in alphabetical order.)
A. The church.
C. The orphanage.
All of the above? No. Change nothing and ignore the urge to focus? Nope, not gonna happen.
How to choose?
X. I could go with the choice of happiness and do what makes me feel good. [Pleasure]
Y. The most familiar pattern of choice comes from a place of duty and obligation. [Responsibility]
Z. Listening to the suggestions from others could tell me what to do. [Community]
Can I do it all? Not so much. Little bits of effort in lots of areas frustrate me. I want to pour myself into something. At least, at this season in my life. There may come a day I can ‘just go with it'; not now, though.
I understand the luxury of even being able to choose what to do. Not everyone in the world has this privilege. This gives me more cause for pause, I do not wish to squander this honor.
Pick a card, any card.
What do you do when you find yourself at a critical point of decision? Who councils you when things become unclear? What would you choose if you were me?