“You’ve made your bed now you must lie in it.”
May a car owner gripe about oil changes?
May a writer groan about spelling rules?
May a mother whine about stinky pants?
May a hiker fuss about muddy boots?
May a runner find sweat stains frustrating?
Yes, they may, but what good does it do? We are capable of complaining about circumstances we have chosen, but logic says that stating obvious hardships is futile.
What is the murmurer’s motive?
… pity...
Why do I want others to pity me about a choice I made?
That is like putting myself down, as though I made a bad choice.
… camaraderie...
The the ranks of the embittered are a sorry bunch.
… authenticity…
Possibly permissible, but there may be a more effective path to clarity.
Must we deny the existence of difficulties? Are we doomed to suffer in silence and waste away from the inside out? Are we lying in the bed we made by lying about the circumstances and saying that they are better than we feel they are?
- o -
It might seem that I am complaining about complainers in a round about way. Not so much, as I am reflecting on my own attitudes.
I chose to make a trans-hemispherical move. Therefore, my melancholy sighs about being far from those I love are wearisome not therapeutic.
I chose to follow Christ. What sense does it make that I would be annoyed when people question my dedication?
I chose to start an orphanage. Getting flustered about finances won’t pay the bills nor put food in their little bellies.
I chose to accept the blessing of parenthood. Why would I wish raising my kids didn’t involve correction, patience and utter dependence on the Creator when I admit full control is out of my grasp?
- o -
Do everything without complaining and arguing.
Actually, I don’t have a sense of needing anything personally. I’ve learned by now to be quite content whatever my circumstances. I’m just as happy with little as with much, with much as with little. I’ve found the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hands full or hands empty. Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am.
That directive and that statement sound forward and audacious, respectively. They are excerpts from the writings of the apostle Paul when his thoughts turned towards the people of Philippi during one of his multiple imprisonments (Message translation of part of Philippians).
So what alternative do we have to complaining? Your thoughts are welcome.
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{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }
Antes de viajar y durante mi viaje me sentía como “una carga” que hay q llevar a todas partes y a la que hay que ayudar en todo… La sensación de lástima era muy fuerte… Mi propia lástima, mi “necesidad” de que me entiendan, que sepan cuánto me “esfuerzo”, y que VALGO.
Este tiempo, en tu país he descubierto en mí una fuerza que creí que había perdido…
Y escucho clara, serena y apacible la voz de Dios recordándome que soy su princesa, que Él tiene el control…
Muchas gracias, Elizabeth, por tus pensamientos. Es verdad lo que dices, tú eres la princesa del Rey de reyes. Valgas mucho, amor.
The first thought I have to your question would be to be thankful for ALL things. Things ALWAYS could be worse…although we seem to think our current problems are the worst ever!
An attitude of graditude and acknowledging the smallest blessings helps to change the foulest of attitudes.
That’s my 2 cents for today!!
Big, big hugs my friend!
Livvy Lu, you are exactly right. The attitude adjustment does wonders to combat the complaining. Thank you for your words of wisdom.
Polyanna’s glad game?
When Pollyanna received crutches from the missionary barrel instead of the doll she longed for, her father created the “glad game.” It’s kinda like looking for the silver limning to the gray cloud or counting your blessings. She decided that she was glad she didn’t need the crutches.
Also, I remember a quote by Chuck Swindoll that my mom used to quote to me all the time:
“I am convinced that life is 10 percent what happens to me and 90 percent how I react to it. And so it is with you… we are in charge of our attitudes.” There is more to that quote–I’m sure if you googled it you could find all of it.
Amanda, I recently heard that Swindoll quote from someone else. It is so true. Thank you for sharing.
Lie prostrate at the foot of the cross.
Count our blessings daily.
Have faithful friends who cover you in prayer.
Know God never promised easy, so ask for forgiveness and start again.
I am trying all of these, God is not finished with me yet!
Carin
Hm… continuing with the lying theme; how very clever and appropriate. Good words my friend.
i always think of something i read in one of max lucado’s books a decade or more ago — “instead of complaining for the wait, i will thank God for the moment to pray.” i need to get better at turning my complaints into gratitudes.